The Long Dash to Nowhere

The em dash bubble has burst

I should’ve invested in em dashes—back when they were humble—rare—tasteful even—before they exploded—everywhere—like glitter at a craft fair—clogging up sentences—stretching out thoughts—interrupting—insisting—performing—like they’re doing us a favour—when really—it’s just a long line—posing as profundity—dragging us—word by word—into the uncanny valley—of AI-generated prose—where no comma survives—and the period—weeps.